Ok na ba ako?

After a couple of weeks, i've decide na uwi nako samin.. sure kaba na ok kana ching?( ewan ko ) bahala na!

Lord i can't deny it! you know how much she mean to me! bakit ganun?
i feel happy for her! but on the other way around, i got a lot of pain! seriously pain that almost killing me! day and night, i dont know what to do!

sometimes, its just like a wishful thingking i've always dreaming or imagined us finally being together! I’ve always kept my hopes up for an eternity with her..It became the thought that would keep me out of depression (sometimes)
I’ve long been deluding myself that she loved me :( even for a single moment in our past – and that in the end, "it would be me and you" (dreaming again)

"im having a hard time breathing"

I blamed my physiological seasons for the abrupt withdrawal of my surrender!

Masaya nako para sa kanya i feel there's someone whos taking care of her now..
pero ako? :( i have nothing .. nothing but ill stand a broken man...

God, kaya hanggat makakayanan ko,, i'll try! but, if i cant make it, i think it would be better for me to take my life rather than lying in the dark..