period..

How to start? hehe hindi ko alam pano.. wala na din ako maisip na sasabihin..(nasabi ko na lahat eh) hehe
siguro un na ung nagtrigger sakin.. makita ko lahat ng hindi ko dapat makita at malaman.. that's exactly what i want! to know is the truth! at san ako dapat lumugar.. ngyon alam ko na!
from the very start and till now nag-muka lang akong tanga sayo... mas gusto ko na laging umiinom kahit hindi talaga ako nagiinom pero eto lang un option ko para kahit sandaling oras makalimutan ko lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko.. hindi ko maiexplain sayo gaano kasakit kaya hindi nako nakikipag usap sayo kase ayoko na malaman mo nangyayare sakin ngayon..

wag mo na din ako hanapin pag nawala nako kase hindi nako babalik pa.. hahayaan ko nalang makalimutan lahat ng ito at isipin nalang ang masasayang alala naten na kahit naging "past time" lang ako sa buhay mo. ayoko na din magsalita ng kung ano ano pa.. ayoko din magalit sayo.. kase wala na. wala naman din mangyayare pa kung gagwen ko un..

gusto ko nalang magpasalamat sayo dahil nagkakilala din tayo. marami kang nai-share sakin marami din ako nai-share sayo.. salamat sa mga tawanan, kulitan, asaran, tampuhan, iyakan,, at sa lahat lahat.. ,

siguro ngayon hindi mo ako naiintindihan, kase may iba kang iniisip.. may iba jan sa puso mo.. na kahit anong gawin ko hindi mo ako napapansin.. hindi mo ko nakikita and kahit masaktan ako ng husto siguro wala kang paki alam sakin :(
dadating din un araw na wala nako sa buhay mo at maalala mo ko, lahat ng pagmamahal at pagpapahalaga na binigay ko para sayo..
alam ko magiging maayos din ako pero hindi nga lang ngayon.. pero pipilitin kong maibalik ko ang dating ako nadating masaya at hindi umiiyak kagaya ngayon.. salamat ulit sayo..

maraming salamat sayo po na kahit naging Rebound mo lang ako..

maraming salamat sayo lit.. paalam..

Broken in silence..

miserable na ako ngayon:( :( ang sakit nang nararamdaman ko! hindi ko maipaliwanag un nararamdaman ko... ang hapdi! wala nako magawa kung hindi tanggapin ang lahat and manahimik nalang... hindi ko na alam kung magigicing pa ako bukas..

ang sakit sakit.... pero kailangan ko tanggapin ang lahat... alang alang sa kanya... lord help me :(

So this is it!...

i don't know what exactly am i supposed to do, i cant change the way i feel inside!
I can only feel an acute sense of loneliness!
my tears begin to fall down my cheeks that ive been trying to hold ,,

I know!. theres nothing i could do, but to accept and respect everything including your decision even your own belief..
now its time to go?? NO! i wont leave! its time to say goodbye? NO! i'm never gonna say goodbye!

i'm just a weak to face the truth but i will try to open my eyes to face the reality and to find my way again even though its "TOO LATE!"

Sana lang makayanan ko lahat ng ito:( kase hindi para sakin ito.. para sayo ito kaya ako nalang ang iiwas. ayokong makita kapang nasasaktan o luluha ulit! tama na satin dalawa, na ako nalang ang masaktan! wag nalang ikaw.. kasi hindi ko lalong kakayanin pag ikaw ang nasaktan.. kahit mahirapan ako kakayanin ko alang alang sayo lit...

But for now I'll look so longingly waiting!
For you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me..
- Dashboard Confessional -

smile of pain..

Oh baby! You dont have to worry about me! co'z i'm ok, feeling better! :)

but deep inside im bleeding the pain like I’ve never felt before, it radiated through my entire body, my entire being.

ayoko nalang makita mo pano ko nasasaktan kase ayoko makita kang nasasaktan and nahihirapan!
minsan sinungaling nako sayo! kase ayoko lang mag aalala ka kase alam ko naman situation mo right now..

Sana..

Sana hindi ka magbago.. sana hindi pa huli ang lahat.. kase kapag nawala ka pa ulit sakin? mundo ko guguho na!!wala ng kulay ang lahat! mas gugustuhin ko nalang mawala kaysa mabuhay ng wala ka sa piling ko..

Ok na ba ako?

After a couple of weeks, i've decide na uwi nako samin.. sure kaba na ok kana ching?( ewan ko ) bahala na!

Lord i can't deny it! you know how much she mean to me! bakit ganun?
i feel happy for her! but on the other way around, i got a lot of pain! seriously pain that almost killing me! day and night, i dont know what to do!

sometimes, its just like a wishful thingking i've always dreaming or imagined us finally being together! I’ve always kept my hopes up for an eternity with her..It became the thought that would keep me out of depression (sometimes)
I’ve long been deluding myself that she loved me :( even for a single moment in our past – and that in the end, "it would be me and you" (dreaming again)

"im having a hard time breathing"

I blamed my physiological seasons for the abrupt withdrawal of my surrender!

Masaya nako para sa kanya i feel there's someone whos taking care of her now..
pero ako? :( i have nothing .. nothing but ill stand a broken man...

God, kaya hanggat makakayanan ko,, i'll try! but, if i cant make it, i think it would be better for me to take my life rather than lying in the dark..

One shot!

Guys i really have something serious to say..

There was a man who was constantly at her side, whenever she would get her heart broken, this man would always let her cry on his shoulder, tell her that things would be fine..
(its Me!)


After a couple of weeks i found out that i'm so in love with you and i cant let you go!
As each and everyday pass me by, there isn't one which I won't miss you.

you were always on my mind, thinking about you, dreaming about you... always took a pray for you to notice that i really care even if you havent seen it..

you knew, that i want to be a part of you and wanted to take care you for the rest of my life..
For a while life was so perfect,

But all good things must come to an end, right?
i feel like im a dead man! (useless, meaningless)
I knew you were already gone.i cant have you back.. if there were a chance to prove it to you (for the 2nd time) that everything i said i meant, i hope there's someone here
who could help me..

But Still. hoping that someday or somehow you'll see that im willing to give everything and do anything to have you back, to feel happy once again even if for just a few secs..
wherever you are now always remember that my love goes with you.

i love you and miss you bachoy!!(lilit)

Time to go!

Father, help me lead on my way, I admit i had sinned, i still hold on to my words, i never break it, I never intend to loss it,

The distance that has been measured from the start, ends up in shattering.
We both thought that things will work smoothly. We thought with love we can stand to what we say.
God, please look over her,Put her away from harm and mischiefs, for I will still hold on to what my heart say.

posted on: (June 17 2009)

Oh men!!!!

i was useless at nearly everything!

posted on: (may 27 2009)

Yo World!!

Yes im alive!! still alive!! so alive! and there!! im so so so in love with lilit!!!
-zmood.|NR